Sarah a.k.a Sadie

Sumitra Sridharan
3 min readNov 29, 2020

‘So, this is how it feels’, Sarah wondered. She died a while ago and is now roaming the streets of an unknown place which she assumed to be heaven since she did not see anything untoward happening around her.

It was pearly white everywhere with thick white smoke swirling around instead of pathways and roads. She had to get really close to see what people were doing since it was all foggy. She neither felt hot nor cold. It was as if she was floating instead of walking, or at least the smoke made her feel so. People seemed happy and content and also kept to themselves.

Sarah's parents had named her Sadie when she was born. She started hating her name once she entered her teens. Though her parents proudly claimed that the name meant "princess", she always felt it sounded melancholic. She coaxed her father and officially changed it to Sarah when she was 14. She is now 26 and dead. She strongly believed that her birth name Sadie, is to be blamed for her sad ending.

She was also concerned about the pasta which was cooking in her apartment's kitchen before she died. 'It must have gone all mushy by now, but how does that matter, I am dead and I don't need food', she thought. She did have her doubts about it though, did she not need food after death? Finally she decided to wait and observe. If she feels hungry then the dead do need food.

Meanwhile she was trying to notice the goings on around her. An old man was hammering a nail into a pin cushion with all his might. Another lady who must have been in her late 40s or early 50s was making a garland of flowers. A small baby was crawling through the smoke, not knowing the destination. She was ridiculed by how the pincushion, hammer, flowers and thread were all available here in heaven.

Sarah walked along, staring at everything and everyone in amazement. She could not muster enough courage to talk to anyone yet. She was yet to figure out the reason for the strange lack of panic or fear in her.

At about 3 feet from where she was now, she found herself seeing her dead grandparents, great grandparents and also her uncle who died at an early age. There was another second cousin of hers, who was happily climbing an upright ladder which balanced on nothing.

She couldn't believe he died. Infact, she did not know he died since he was very critical after he met with a road accident. Sarah thought he must have died after her or may be at the same time, that is why nobody informed her.

'Messages about the cousin's death must have been posted in the family whatsapp group by now', Sarah thought. 'What about my death?, How long has it been since I died? Do my people know yet?, Katrina must have found my body on the dining room chair by now, that's where I was when I died'.

Katrina and Sarah shared the apartment. They worked together for the same accounting firm since 3 years. Sarah also hoped that Katrina found her mobile lying near her body and kept it safe for her when she goes back. With a pang of remorse she realised that she cannot go back. Reality finally dawned upon her. It covered her like a thick black blanket from behind. It felt warm. Sarah was confused.

A loud ringtone with long vibrations shook her back to her senses. She was right there in her dining room. Her phone was ringing and vibrating away, displaying 'Mom'. Sarah ignored the call. She was still in shock of what she realised was a dream.

Katrina was watching her from a distance and finally came up to her to speak. 'Sarah, I told you not to stay awake for so long to finish work last night, now see, you came to make food and you dozed off. I came to check since it was so long and saw you mumbling and shivering, so I got your blanket and put it around you'.

Sarah was in a state of befuddlement now. She had just experienced an interspersion of dreams and thoughts of a semi conscious mind that was unknowingly active and remembering the present situation she is in.

This was new to her. She had to find out what was going on inside her head. Why was her mind so active in a subconscious state? But for now, she put these thoughts to rest since she had a long and hectic day ahead. Sarah a.k.a Sadie was very much alive. "Sadie" wasn't a bad name afterall.



Sumitra Sridharan

Poet, Photography enthusiast(still learning), Blogger at times